Lotte's Story (13)
Lotte is thirteen and helps take care of her brother Sem, who has an intellectual disability. She helps provide structure, plays with him in a way that calms him down, and keeps an eye on him to see when he becomes overstimulated. She does it with love, but sometimes she feels alone in what she’s going through.
“My friends don’t always understand why I can’t just go along on a spur-of-the-moment trip to the playground or into town,” Lotte says. “I’d love to, but Sem gets confused easily when things change. So I have to stay home. Sometimes I’m just too tired, too.”
She says that she sometimes feels different from her classmates. “When they talk about sleepovers or vacations, I feel a little left out. Not because they’re excluding me, but because my life is just different. I have to take Sem into account more often. They don’t always understand that.”
And then there’s that sense of loneliness. “It’s not that I don’t have anyone,” says Lotte. “But sometimes it feels like no one really understands what it’s like. Like I have two lives: one at school, and one at home.”
Still, there is hope. “I heard from the city that there are activities for young caregivers. I went once. There were young people there who knew exactly what it’s like to take care of a brother or sister. I didn’t have to explain anything. That felt so good. I wasn’t the only one. That gave me some breathing room.”
Lotte says she’s trying to take better care of herself now. “I allow myself little moments to myself—just drawing, going for a walk, or listening to music. When I feel more like myself, I’m better able to handle everything at home, too. It really helps.”
